February 21, 2019


By Jennifer Rose Goldman

Valentine’s Day may have come and gone, but let’s keep self-love at the top of our priority lists today, tomorrow, and forever more! …That is, if we even know where to start? A concept so individualized, ambiguous, and now trendy; it can seem daunting to commit to in a practical way.

So, let’s maybe start with what self-love is not (in my opinion, of course)? 

- Trendy

- Externally-focused

- Achieved through a quick fix

- Found in a magic pill

- A place you land at and never look back

- A final destination

Self-love is a relationship we have with ourselves and a practice we partake in; continuous and evolving. It is engaging in a sacred “call” and “response” with ourselves where we discover our inner needs and take care of ourselves accordingly, without judgment. It’s an act of self-preservation that encourages us to say no when not doing so would otherwise leave us drained and depleted, yes when it feels euphoric and aligned, and that ultimately inspires us to make decisions that are truly in our best interest.

Self-love is definitely not perfect, and it can feel especially cumbersome if we’re masters at finding reasons to place ourselves anywhere but first on our priority list, or if critique and self-doubt are our comfortable and habitual responses to the rollercoaster of daily life.

But the point is not perfection, which implies stagnancy. It’s growth; progress measured in baby steps and individual moments. It’s “won” every time we take the power back into our own hands, prioritize our mental and emotional health over the needs of others, and do for ourselves what’s authentic, supportive, nourishing, and true, even if it instills momentary guilt, before feeling good.

And, let me set the record straight here: self-love is certainly not selfish! It’s an essential process of self-awareness and self-care that allows us to show up as our most present, vibrant and engaged selves. It’s the key to our productivity, motivation and success as much as it is to our softness, lovability, and intimacy. How we prioritize ourselves as our most *important* relationship filters out into each and every aspect of our lives, touches the people we interact with on a daily basis, and pours into potential obstacle and opportunity.

So, if you’re new to the self-love journey or if you’ve been restoring your relationship for years, try these three practices to enhance your experience of self-love today.


1) PRIORITIZE YOU EACH MORNING (STARTING TOMORROW!): If you’ve been reading my posts for a while, you’ll know that I swear by having a “morning practice,” and I want to reiterate this here: if you carve out time for yourself each morning before having to answer to anyone or anything else that will undoubtedly want to claim your attention for the rest of the day, you will naturally form a more intimate and self-loving relationship. You will create the space to recognize what may be occurring beneath the surface. You will get to know yourself more intimately with less of a filter and with more genuine awareness, which will enable you to have greater control over your thoughts, emotions and interactions throughout the day. Having a morning practice has been instrumental to my personal mental health and well-being, and it’s simply because I’ve create the space to check in with myself, regulate my thoughts and emotions, and discover what’s going on inside before I get completely wrapped up in everything outside of me. If the morning simply cannot work for you – don’t stress! – see if you can create your “me” time at night before bed!

Click here for inspiration on how to design your morning (or evening) practice. Try it tomorrow or for all of next week and notice how it transforms each day!

2) ADOPT THE MID-DAY CHECK-IN: Similar to the first one except different. Whereas the morning practice occurs before the chaos of daily life ensues, the “mid-day check-in” may seem asks us to reclaim our time, space, energy and autonomy in the midst of it all. The check in can be simple, quick, and accessible from anywhere – even your desk at work. Choose a time – I’d say around 3 or 4 PM. Pause, wherever you are. Take 5 minutes. Close your eyes. Breathe. Notice the sensations in your body. Where are you tensing? What obsessive thoughts are running through your mind? Remember, you are carrying these sensations into all of your interactions! Can you soften, breathe, release, and come back to the moment? Can you give yourself a break? For me, taking breaks is essential to my productivity and self-love. I love to take walks, get outside, eat a piece of chocolate, make a cup of tea, close my phone and maybe my eyes and draw the energy I’ve been extending into all things external back into myself.

See if you can follow your “check-in” with a quick check-OUT where you take your *quick* break and do something that is just for you

3) SAY NO TO SOMETHING AT LEAST ONCE THIS WEEK: This may not necessarily be applicable on a daily basis, but it can be incredibly empowering to make somewhat of a habit! This was inspired by a personal experience I had this week where I chose to go to sleep at 8 PM (do you think I needed it?!) verses stay up to finish work. Once the initial guilt set in (there definitely was that nagging feeling), I ultimately decided to listen to the needs of my body no matter how ridiculous it felt. I woke up the next morning a lot more motivated, focused and ready to take action. By doing what I needed to do for myself the night before, I was better able to show up as the most productive and enthusiastic version of So whether “no” for you means choosing to reschedule your plans, close your laptop before you’ve sent that final email, or opt for a night in to pamper yourself, I encourage you to steam ahead with all of the above knowing you are doing yourself (and everyone else around you) a service by setting this important boundary!

If you feel inspired, take a pic of one of the above exercises and share on social medial! Use #essentialroselife for a chance to be featured on our page!


Essential oils are naturally-occurring chemical compounds found in plants. They derive from the plants’ roots, flowers, leaves, seeds and more! Through the science of aromatherapy, essential oils can be powerful holistic tools to enhance self-love. 

Read more about the science of essential oils here.  Browse Rose, Rose Geranium, and Lavender for a few of our favorite self-love oils. 














Jennifer Rose Goldman offers exclusive self-care retreats and workshops to help you strengthen your self-relationship.  Practices include gentle movement, breathing & meditation, aromatherapy & tea, guided visualization, and much more!

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